.:. I'm WHO I'm .:.

guess this will be my very first emo post..

don't need to read this cos i don't think so u will understand what am i saying here..

just wanna type it aaaalllll OUT .. then, totally forget bout it~



i just don't like it when i needed to choose in between this and that.. meaning being in dilemmaSS!

on 1st of nov.. i've 4 events that i really want to attend!

but of cos.. i've only one body.. so i only go for one..

1st: ddg dance appreciation nite of course..
2nd: sam's wedding lunch and dinner...
3rd: melly mel's bday celebration...
4th: ananda marga yoga club's career camp...


not wanna show off to people that im such a busy person.. a fully booked person or someone who has lots of lots of frens around...

BUT to 'show off' to people how sad am i now..

well, for de camp.. luckily i've got that off earlier.. plus knowing that we will be having exam on that day and my frens all are not going.. so i wont feel anything more..


then, melly mel's bday celeb.. sigh.. as usual, saturday nite is the best nite to hang out wid frens.. where everyone will be free and dont need to wake up early for uni or work on the next day..
i've missed ms. lazy cat's celeb.. and now.. melly mel's.. who's next?? rainwong? hopefully not.. seriously..


sam's wedding lunch, at BK, cheras.. i knew about her wedding earlier.. but forgot that it falls on de same day wid our dance appreciation nite.. sigh..
lunch oni ma.. i thought i can go for it then later straight to IPA green carpet to get ready..
last month, planned to go where n where, when n when to shop for clothes with sampat popo..
sigh... mana tau.. cannot la.. cant make it for both.. will need to get ready by 2pm for ddg~


then, thought after lunch they all can actually proceed to IPA for our ddg performance..
BUT, again... sam had a wedding dinner on de same nite as well..
almost everyone from my chapter will be going for de dinner.. so no one can come for de performance~
the saddest case is not that they cant come for de performance..
BUT.. it is because i cant join in de fun.. for de dinner.. im sure i can meet up wid lots of ppl i've lost contact with..seldom see each other and so on~

today, just now.. after tight schedule in de morning till nite..of travelling from PC block to PD, then back to PC and then walk to PA.. took cab to Hospital Kuala Lumpur for interview for assignment till 5pm.. becoming sardine in monorial and lrt.. then.. rush to sam's wedding decoration.. at cheras too.. didn't take my dinner though..

but at least, i've done something for her.. hehe..
helped to blow balloons, tie them up, clean the floor and etc..
till 10 something..

of cos, felt damn sad that i couldnt attend for tmr's.. ppl were planning the transportation, what time gotto reach.. what time for de dinner.. bla bla bla.. me.. only get to listen..

and...

to see.. eh no.. to peep them tmr.. LOL..
i will definitely go find them when i reach BK tmr.. to see sam in her wedding gown~! so hang fuk~! :)



so, the main thing i will be attending is the very first Dove Dance Group's Appreciation Nite..

not to be missed..

but morning..got moral class to attend sumore..


EMO-ing..

these two days i really very frus over something.. but of cos i didnt show it out.. i don't want to.. don't want to be in argument..

really don't understand why people can act on something according to their mood.. not good mood.. but their mood swing.. they rojak up their personal thing with their work.. my god.. in future if u ever do that to other people, u will be in trouble, u might lose ur job, ur frens and even urself!! not cursing u or anything.. but.. pls.. ur edy an adult now.. and pls behave like one, not just act...!! it wont help u to go anywhere..
not everyone like ME can take it so easily..
you will bring lots of troubles to people... and of cos.. you're not the one getting into troubles, that is why u dont care! right???!!

***

when i worried about something.. the same thing.. all over and over again.. eventually things got worst and worst... even its just a simple thing.. simple thing that i may be over-worried bout it..
but i jus can't help myself worrying bout it..

things are still de same now.. sigh~


***

when everything goes very smoothly.. as smooth as tofu.. (wat am i talking about?? LOL)
then out of sudden.. u received an sms, or a call or a notification.. which is a very bad news.. even it does not happen to you, but you still can feel de impact from it.. seriously..

***


cut it short.. - higher expectation, higher disappointment!!!!


***

i dont want to emo for long and so many things la..

as a conclusion..


make sure ur hp is fully charged when u know that u will be out for the whole day.. LOL

especially when u have a lousy hp like mine.. keypads all rosak.. battery siao siao.. damn bloody pek chek wan u noe anot.. sigh.. plus ppl will start miss calling u when i didnt reponse to their msg.. with that, the battery will finish even faster before u manage to send out a reply.. sigh~!


***

i really dont want to be in such situation again anymore..

don't want to choose between a, b or c when i actually have a choice of taking them all if c never comes after b and a does not fall before b appear.. und? i oso dont und~ lol


*****


goodbye and nitezzz la.. need to sleep.. tmr will be another hectic day..

it is D-Day~ saat yang ditunggu-tunggukan..

after tmr, it will be another history of mine again..


:)